It has been a fascinating and challenging week with. I have done a lot of coaching/clinical supervision this week. In fact I have coached at least one person every day this week, I also did some work with a team, that is an unusually busy coaching week, normally I will see one or two people in a week, it seems however more and more people are seeking out coaching or clinical supervision (I have also linked up new clients with our network of coaches). It is a slow burner but I can feel a sea change in people seeking out coaching/clinical supervision to either help them work through professional development or help them with their resilience in these uncertain times.
During the sessions when talking about the their goals I have asked how they want to be seen by the people around them. What space do they take up or want to take up. This approach stems from the research I have been doing for connected living. To help you define what it is really important to, how you measure your personal success and therefore identify what your goals need to be is explore what impact you want to have on the people around you. Stephen Covey described it has starting with the end in mind.
Internalising your goal, and creating goals that are relevant to you and not what your goals should be is the key to their success. We often set goals that are a little worthy, that are based on what we think the people around us consider worthwhile, but are not in line with what we value. In his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen Covey invites the reader to write their own mission statement. I love this idea. Writing down your own mission statement based on what you value and how you want to be seen by those around you sounds like a fabulous idea. It is not easy to do and takes a little time and practice to refine. Here is my early attempt:
My mission in life is to provide support and challenge my colleagues and clients. I will be supportive, kind and caring to all around me. I will love my family unconditionally and will care for them without judgement. I will do this with warmth, empathy and compassion. I will hold myself to account when I fall short of these standards and make amends when this effects others. I will seek support without judgement from my network of friends and family when I need it, without judging myself.
It is a little bit clunky but you get the drift. Once you have defined how you want to turn up everyday you can then start to work towards goals that are in line with what you consider success rather than societies version of your success. If you work in a team it is possible to to pool your mission statements and develop a team statement based on common values and how you want you team to show up.
When it comes to being resilient to what is going on around you mindfulness is a wonderful tool to have to keep you grounded and prevent you from running away with your thoughts. If you find the thought of mindfulness a little to airy fairy, then consider it as just being present. It is the habit of concentrating on the here and now. For instance what is your body doing right now? How does your body feel? What is your breathing like? The idea is to concentrate on what is real rather than your thoughts. When your mind wanders, you acknowledge that has happened and then bring your attention back to here and now. If you do this often enough you will train your brain not to spend too much attention on rumination and more time on what is happening right now. After all thoughts are just a series of chemical reactions that are either helpful or not and more often than not do not add value to your life. Responding to what is really happen is more important. The more you concentrate on what is in front of you, the more data you collect, and then when you need to make a plan and project what might happen next it is based on more facts than it would do if you were too busy worrying about what is going to happen or regretting what you did. You are more likely to perform better and be less stressed if you practice being present or mindfulness. There are loads of apps out there that offer mindfulness techniques. The NHS app is very useful for those of you in the UK and it is free.
Please message me if you want to discuss more or if you want to discuss being coached to help with your career planning or build your resilience.
Connected Coaching 