Practice going with the flow

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About 3 or 4 years ago I heard Miles Hilton-Barber being interviewed on the radio. That interview stopped me in my tracks, it was a truly inspirational interview. If you don’t know who he is, google him, Miles is a blind explorer, the man is incredible, completely nuts, but incredible and inspiring. During this interview, he said something that has stuck with me ever since and I often quote it during lectures and time out sessions.

We always have two enemies stood at either shoulder, preventing us from living up to our potential, and they are the fears of the future and the regrets of the past.”

It has been a long time so that might not be the exact quote, but you get the drift.

The past and the future are very useful as reference points, but should not be places we spend too long in, whether that is in a negative or a positive sense. Spending too long causes inactivity, and more or less guarantees a less than helpful future.

So make plans for the future, using experiences of the past to inform those plans, but to make those plans a reality it is essential to spend the vast majority of your time in the present in action.

Now things go wrong, and things go right. Life is not designed for our convenience, all we can do is take part in it. To be active participants, and not bystanders. We have to acknowledge that we play are part in all aspects of our life, the good bits and the bad bits. Take credit for everything you do including the terrible disasters. Stop looking for someone to blame, don’t be bashful when stuff goes brilliantly well. Things go well because of us, and things get really messed up because of us, put your hand up for both.

We all the are people around us that are living their best lives, and they we are not. They probably think that of you. Instead of wishing your life was better than it is, live your life. It could be worse, it could be better. One thing is for certain, is that it is yours and it is the only one you have.

I know that was a bit cliched, but sometimes we all forget to live our lives, I know I certainly do. I have to remind myself that I am in charge of what happens next to me, not physically sometimes but always mentally. I can choose to take what is most helpful to me to enable me to live up to my potential.

Now I have just had a chuckle to myself, as I was about to write a limiting statement about my past and how I could have benefited from this insight then. But that does not serve me any purpose, other than cause me to feel regret. That is why I write this blog, so I can help sort my own shit out.

To recap (mostly for my benefit). Use the past and future as reference points, not places of residence. They are essential for planning, but remember planning is useless without action, which you have to be present for. Accept the part you play in every aspect of your life. If it happened and you were in the room, it was your fault, along with everyone else. But don’t be shy when you smash it out of the park, you are that good.

Write your own story, don’t let anyone do it for you.

message me to write your own story.


Published by Matt Smith Personal and Professional Coach

Performance and Life Coach

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