Speaking confidently in public

You don’t have to be an extrovert to be able to speak confidently in public. You don’t need to have a loud voice, or have a dominant personality. I am an introverted, mumbling, beta male, who is always happy to blend into the background and let someone else take the limelight. However I am to speak confidently in front of people. I don’t use a voice coach, I don’t rely on power stances and visualisation. So how do I do it? It is quite simple really, I have spent a lot of time getting to know myself, what I know I can do, what I know I can’t do, and what is important to me. It is quite simple to describe, putting it into action is not so straightforward and requires practice. Let me talk you through the process.

Know what you value

I know I keep going on about values, but trust me this is the game changer. There are loads of values lists online. My go to list is the one by Brene Brown the link is below. https://brenebrown.com/workbook-art-pics-glossary/ Once you have opened the page download the values list. Start with picking the 10 values that resonate with you. Don’t overthink it at first. When you have ten go through that list with a more critical eye and reduce it by half. You now have 5 values, you can either stick with these or see if you can reduce it further to 2 or 3 core values. This exercise is worth repeating periodically as your values can shift over time as priorities in you life shift.

I find this exercise really useful as it creates a focus on you and how you see yourself and your world, something we rarely do. The process of getting down to your core values helps you understand yourself and your value as well as what you value. Understanding the value that you hold in the world is vital to recognise if you are going to show up authentically and speak with confidence. Knowing what you value helps you decide the importance of what you are talking about and why you are doing it. My values are: inner strength, compassion, connection, and love (yes I know I have 4, anything between 2 and 5 are useful), so when I am preparing for a team session or a meeting I use my values to create my motivation and my approach to what I am going to talk about and relate to my audience.

You don’t have to be right, you have to get it right

This is one of my favourite Brene Brown quotes. If we are not careful we start to attach who we are to what we do. This is often what stops people from speaking in public. The fear of getting things wrong, and you being viewed poorly is incredibly powerful. We have to remember though that we are not what we do. If we get things wrong it does not make us a lesser person, it means we go something wrong, we made a mistake. We can acknowledge what we did learn from it and change what we do. There are plenty of times when I forget what I am supposed to say or get it wrong. I have accepted that, this is inevitable and what I do next is more important. If I notice what has happened I acknowledge and make the right correction. If it is fedback to me later I will make the appropriate corrections for next time (obviously after I have had a bit of a sulk first). My point is you are not going to be right all of the time and if you think you are, you are probably wrong more often than you are right, becuase you are just not learning and growing. It is more important to be open to the fact that you might be wrong and want to get it right in the future. Even if you are up there speaking as an expert does not mean that you are going to be right all of the time.

Performance is variable

As well as being occasionally wrong your performance is variable, and you are not always going to be on top form, for a variety of reasons. Accept this and mitigate for this. Before the event or meeting, manage your personal environment to create the best conditions for you to perform the best you possibly can. I make sure I have written my notes (I like to have a teaching plan in a table format), if I am using slides I make sure they have the right amount of information and in the format I like. I make sure I know the subject I am talking about and have all the resources I need. I like to get to the venue in plenty of time and arrange the room how I want it. I find it helpful for me to control the environment by setting it myself, other people like to turn up and have everything sorted for them. It is important to find your routine that suites you. If I am feeling unwell or a little stressed I acknowledge that this particular session will not be my best, but it will be the best it can be. I am always nervous before I speak to an audience. I always get butterflies and my hands always get sweaty, and I always have half a dozen nervous wees before I start. I see the nerves as necessary, it tells me that how I perform matters to me and that what I am doing is important and it is worth being nervous for. I allow my nerves to be there before the event I don’t try to push them away, I give them their airtime and then when it is time to start they disappear. That whole routine to maximise performance is acknowledging the importance of nerves and gives them a purpose and allows them to be used up.

That is how to speak with confidence in public. Basically be comfortable with who you are, own it, know your and understand the subject you are talking about and just flippin do it. It takes practice but it pays off in the long run. If you want to gain more confidence public speaking get in touch. You can contact me via the platform you have read this on, or email me.