When I went to bed last night I was planning on going to Park Run for the first time in 10 years. I was inspired to return after such a long time after completing the Great Manchester Run last Sunday. I have always told myself that I am more of a solitary runner so I have always avoided running in company other than the Great Manchester Run, that I have done 4 times now. The thing is I am a confidence runner. What I mean by that is that I am not confident in myself at all. How I look, how I run and the speed I run. When I am with other runners I cannot help but compare myself to others. I am not fast enough, or fit enough. In my head Park Run is populated by fit active people, who are trying hard to be inclusive and welcoming, but secretly feel superior to all us earnest fatties and therefore puts me off immediately. Conversely at somewhere like Great Manchester Run I can put myself in the slowest wave and be surrounded by fellow tubbies and first timers (I am not a first timer but you get the picture), and not feel inadequate. However this time I found myself feeling more confident with my running and in fact ran the whole 10k, which is a first for me. I had never felt I was fit enough to run the whole distance and would walk sections of it. This year I ran the whole distance, this is because I run 5k 2 or 3 times a week now and I am two stone lighter than I was the last time I ran 10k. With this in mind I thought I would give Park Run a go this Saturday.
I logged into my Park Run account, to be fair I was astounded I managed to find it. It turns out is nearly 10 years to the day since the first and last time I attended. I downloaded the app and got my bar code. I worked out how I was going to get there as I don’t drive (that is the subject of another blog in the future). I went to bed last night with the intention of doing my second ever Park Run the next day. I woke up this morning and it was pissing down. Now I am not normally a fair weather runner but getting to the run involves quite a bit of walking, so would mean walking in the rain, getting on a bus, walking in the rain, standing in the rain, running in the rain, walking in the rain, waiting for a bus and then walking some more. No thanks. I looked at the forecast for tomorrow morning and at 8 am it is going to be fine so I am going to revert back to my usual routine of running by myself. I am away next weekend so will maybe try again the weekend after, I have downloaded the app after all. I know I chickened out, but I do prefer running by myself, although it would be nice to be a bit more sociable about it and meet new people.
Being more sociable when I am not at work is something I want to improve. I have noticed over recent years I have become more and more introverted. I used to be happy to chat with anyone, now I find myself avoiding people I have an acquaintance with, just so I do not have to engage in small talk, and there is no way I would start a conversation with someone I don’t know. I used to be very comfortable starting up conversations, now I only do it at work. I know I need to create more of a balance in my life so I do not use up all of my social energy at work. I think that I why I wanted to start going to Park Run to introduce a social element into an activity that I enjoy.
As I am writing this I am thinking that I cannot just write a blog telling you all that I was going to do something and then didn’t fancy it. That is not very satisfactory for a coach. However a lot of times we all plan to do something and then for whatever reason don’t fancy it and then don’t bother. The problem is that when we do that we just leave a niggle in the back of our mind, a small limiting thought can be left there to fester. To be honest that is why I have written this blog. I want to do something about this, I want to be more sociable in out of work situations.
Earlier in the week I had a bit of a wobble at work. I have been spending a quite sometime working out how we are going to work as a team to deliver development across the Group with a new approach and structure and on Tuesday I hit the wall, I momentarily ran out of steam, I had nothing left. I gave myself a moment (well most of the rest of the day) to feel sorry for myself and lick my wounds. The next day I was able to articulate what it is we are trying to achieve, by sitting with my values and creating meaning in our work. One of the things I noticed I need to take action on was to build strong relationships with all of my team. I am based on the North bank of the Humber and have known the team on the north bank well for a number of years. I have worked with the team based on the south bank for a couple of years now, and I have been their manager for 6 months. I do not know them well, and rarely spend time with them in the same location. With me not driving I do not visit our office on the south bank very often. As I had identified this situation as contributing to my wobble (I was not working with my values, especially connection) I have decided to rectify this. I set myself a goal of spending at least one day a week on the south bank to make myself available to the team and have a regular physical presence there. I set myself a timeframe of three months, to have it fully established. I spent a few minutes working through all the possibilities. I now have a plan to spend one day a week there from the week after next, with travel plans in place with the future goal of driving myself there by the autumn.
My point is when you have a niggle, it is time to rexamine your values again and create a goal that is aligned to your values to address that niggle. If the goal and the subsequent plan is congruent with your values you will achieve it.
Connected Coaching 