Since my blog last week I have been pondering the worries, and anxieties we experience when we are growing up.
Exams, deciding on our careers, the pressure of succeeding, coming to terms with our identity, forming relationships, grappling with our sexuality and whether we are getting enough of it, and learning how to be an adult.
However when I explored all these themes I started to recognise and remember the tremendous fun that can be had growing up, and finding your way in life.
The thing is the build up to this early adulthood can be full of fear, and trepidation for what comes next. Am I going to pass my GCSE’s? Will I get the apprenticeship I want? Will I get to do the course I want to do in sixth form? Will I get enough points for the University I want to go to? Will I fit in? Does he/she fancy me?
As mentioned before we are hardwired for pessimism. We look for what goes wrong to protect ourselves. When we are adolescents our rational brain is still developing and our emotional brain is in full swing. So fitting in and succeeding as a tribe member are more important than anything else. We push our boundaries with our parents as we prepare to leave the nest, whilst still needing to be looked after and nurtured.
It is very easy for young people to get caught up in this desire to succeed and fit in, that they can forget to appreciate all the great things that are happening around them. The picture above illustrates that there are plenty of young people having a great time. There are also plenty that struggle through their adolescents, and then there are the majority who fall in the middle, who if they were a little more mindful would have so much more fun than they are having.
If you are between 16-21 years and spend a lot of time worrying about succeeding and fitting in, or if you have a child who worries about their success and fitting in, then it is possible to re-frame how you or they look at the world around you or them.
The connected coaching approach of getting to know and understand yourself and how you view your world. Once you appreciate what makes you tick and what triggers you, you are then able to challenge yourself and offer yourself an alternative viewpoint. Now this takes a bit of practice and will not happen over night. If you are prepared to spend some time going practicing these techniques you will change the way you view your world and get so much more from it.
If you are interested in finding out more then please get in touch.