I am feel better than I did last week but not as well as I was expecting to be, but then again I never thought I would still be recovering 5 weeks after I first started with symptoms. I have waves of feeling really rubbish that last for a couple of hours, I feel OK for a few hours. Once I have finished the course of antibiotics I can start my physio regime. This is taking much longer than I thought, it would. Saying that I am so fortunate that I did not get ill enough to be admitted to hospital. I try not to spend too much time thinking about the what-ifs, but I am reminded every evening on the news when we are told how many people have died and we hear stories about who they were, and then we here the stories of those that have been discharged from Intensive Care. I generally have my wobble about then. I am sure I am not alone.
So the 6pm news is my hippo time. The time I think of the what if, them time when I get scared, the time when I blow things out of proportion. At 6:30 everyday I speak to my mum. Sometimes we might have a bit of a wobble together. Most of the time though we talk about how I am feeling and we talk about how she is. In those moments everyday everything is put into proportion. In those moments I am talking to my Mum and as Mum’s do she makes it better. Not because she does anything in particular other than making me feel safe. My mum makes sure I don’t stay in hippo time, she puts everything in to perspective just by being my Mum.
Well I didn’t expect today’s post to go that way. But I suppose that is what has been sitting in the back of my mind, as it is now doubt in the back of a lot of peoples’ minds. I needed to talk about it, so that is why it came out in my blog. Stuff often does come out in my blogs. Writing it down for me helps me sort out my emotions. We all find a way to manage our emotions, to understand them and articulate them. It is so important during these testing times that you find a way to do that, that suites you. Some people like to talk, I prefer to write it down and work it through in my head. Some people need to be creative, either artistically or more practical ways like cleaning, decorating, gardening. Something that gives you the head space to calm your thoughts and put them in order. If you struggle to do that, there is a lot of help online such as
Stay home, stay safe, and take care of yourself and each other.