I started back to work again today. This time I am going to try to do it the right way. We have a plan of ramping up my workload over a few weeks, to not to cause anymore setbacks. So for the next few weeks I will be working from home to avoid the commute and allow me to stick to my physio regime and work to my symptoms.
As I keep saying the symptoms appear and disappear, get worse and subside at will. So it is impossible to attempt to predict how work goes. When I started work this morning I felt apprehensive but physically fine. The rest of the morning however was a roller-coaster ride. Trying to compose an email proved exhausting (as is writing this blog so I will keep it short). When I feel like this it is like thinking through treacle, thinking just takes longer, I have to search for words, it is the same when speaking. I have zoomed twice today and on both occasions I felt really conscious that I was much quieter than I would normally be. I could not find the words. Then there is the usual headaches and chest pain.
I logged off at lunchtime and went to do my physio in the garden, luckily my children were in bed (18 and 20 year olds are nocturnal in lock down). A fat man walking on the spot does look quite comical, then doing lunges. I managed it quite well, even if I did feel silly.
Only a few months ago I was running regularly (granted not very fast) and today I was getting sweaty a breathless doing steps.
Now I have this plan and a clear daily routine I feel more positive and more secure. I cannot predict how I feel, but I know I have a routine that I can use as an anchor. I only watch the news once a day. That is helping with my mood. Over the next few days I will hopefully start being useful at work. Today I wrote a blog for our intranet site today, so hopefully I have started to make a difference again. Tomorrow is another day, I don’t know what my symptoms will be like, but I know what I will be doing.
One day I will write a blog about the day the symptoms stopped, and one about the day we all went back to normal and were back moaning about normal stuff like the weather, car parking, traffic and brexit. It will happen.
So stay home, and stay safe. Remember we are all new at this, we won’t get it right all the time. Writing this blog is my way of making sense of it. Speak soon.