John has volunteered to help out on the staff support helpline, fielding calls from worried members of staff about their symptoms or symptoms of family members. The employee services staff field the calls first then pass them onto John and his colleague Jane, if they are a little more complex or if they feel the staff member needs reassurance. Both John and Jane are experienced nurses, although John no longer works as a Nurse in the trust, his work as a coach is considered really useful. It was agreed by John’s boss that he would help set up the service and man the phones until they could create a dedicated team made up redeployed staff who were considered at risk if working in a front line setting.
John was initially really happy to support in the first instance, he was now finding it really difficult. listening to vulnerable, scared staff one minute and then having to deal with chancers looking to take some time off work, and calming down angry managers was beginning to take it’s toll.
On top of this since John and Helen had come back from holiday visiting his brother Mark in Australia, Tobey his son had moved in permanently after having a big row with Chris his stepdad after he accused Tobey of stealing whisky from him to take to a party and throwing up over the front door when staggering in from said party at 2 in the morning. John found this quite amusing, however it was beginning to be a massive inconvenience having a moping teenager hanging around the house all the time when he is still trying to conduct a passionate love life with his current girlfriend Helen. Helen didn’t seem to mind, but having to consider a teenager every time he made plans was seriously pissing John off, he just was not used to being an adult at home as well as at work.
This Thursday was a particularly difficult day. It was Johns last shift of the week (he did 3×12 hour shifts a week). 2 calls had particularly got under his skin. There was one young nurse who was living in a shared house with friends, who had locked herself in her room to protect her housemates. She sounded so poorly and scared. She was 21 and not long qualified. She was hundreds of miles away from home and feeling really ill, and frightened about whether she might die. John had spent longer than normal on that call just to reassure her and make sure she had all the support she needed. Straight after that call he spoke to a young man who was a Staff Nurse about to come onto a night shift on a medical elderly ward. He didn’t want to come in. He wasn’t ill, he was terrified, terrified about getting it, and didn’t think he could cope with looking after patients that were so ill and dying. He had lost a patient last night, and he knew there were more patients on his ward that were sick. His friends and family kept on calling him a hero. He said he didn’t feel much like a hero. John manage to talk him around and then had another call from a HCA on the Nurse Bank who had an elderly relative, and had been allocated a night shift on a ward that a lot of COVID patients. She was terrified that she would catch it and pass it on to her relative and kill them. John spent ages talking to this lady about how she could manage the risks she faced by wearing PPE, not travelling to work in her uniform and putting her uniforms straight in the wash when she got home and having a shower as soon as she got in.
John new he had done the right thing, but persuading nurses to go into uncertainty and potentially put themselves and relatives at risk was morally challenging. He kept thinking what if. What if that young nurse gets much worse and is admitted and dies before seeing her parents again. What if that staff nurse goes on his nightshift and has a terrible shift, such a terrible shift that he leaves nursing all together. What if that HCA, catches COVID, takes it home passes it onto her relative who then dies. These thoughts were running through his head as he was driving home. He noticed that he had missed calls on his phone, from Angie, his ex wife, Helen and Tobey. He also had several text messages. “Not know” he said to himself… “My head is full”. He put on his favourite Macabees album and drove home trying to block out all of those intrusive thoughts.
When he got home he walked into a shit storm. Tobey was waiting for him. He was beside himself. Schools had closed today (John had not seen the news) the only exception was the children of key workers. Angie had told Tobey he had to go to school as both his parents were key-workers and because of his past behaviour he could not be trusted to be left to his own devices. John listened to Tobey rant on about being 15 and this was so unfair making him go to school when all his mates didn’t have to and he would be with all the little kids and retards. He agreed to speak to Angie to come up with a mutually agreeable solution. He hated speaking to Angie, she was always judgemental and made him feel like a terrible father, ex-husband, son and human being. She always managed to bring up his shortcomings, and during most encounters she could find a few more. The conversation did not start well. She was in a foul mood. “Why don’t you answer your fucking phone?!!” John tried to keep calm and ignore the outburst on the line. “I am fine thank you Angie. Had a tough long day at work, but OK now. How are you?” He knew that would wind her up, but he didn’t care. “You are such a wanker John! He is not hanging about your house unsupervised, smoking whatever illegal substances you have in the house, and playing on the X-Box all day John! I need you to back me up here, I need you to step up and be a father for once!” John could feel his temper rising, but he couldn’t lose it, if he lost his shit, then she has won, but he needed to respond to this insult, he could not let it go, he had, had a really shitty day and he didn’t need this. “Hey! That’s a bit uncalled for. Who does he live with? I don’t have anything illegal in the house, who do you think I am?” That was probably not going to diffuse the situation, but he could not think of the right words, he really wanted to give her both barrels, but that would just prolong the argument and he really did not have the energy. “He chooses to live with you John, because you let him get away with murder and he cannot live with the rules Chris and I impose on him.” He cannot live with you because Chris is a complete bell end, full of his own self importance, John wanted to say but didn’t. “Anyway Angie, I think I may have a solution that will suite everybody. As of Monday I am going back to the OD team and will be spending most of my time working from home, doing welfare calls and running staff support events. I will be going in maybe once or twice a week but not for the whole day. So he can stay at home with me he can work in the dining room and I will work in my office/spare bedroom. I am fully at home next week so we can do a trial period. If it doesn’t work he can go into school. He will get more done at home. Trust me if he has to go in he will just muck about, and no doubt bunk off. What do you think?” “You better be supervising him John and not disappearing off visiting one your women.” John sighed “I don’t have women Angie, I am with Helen. Is that a yes then?” “For a trial period John, don’t let him waste his life John, he has got his GCSE’s next year. Try and be a good role model John.” “Oh come on Angie, I have always worked hard. I am just and old romantic. I cannot guarantee that he wont have relationship issues, but I will make sure he understands the importance of studying. Have a good evening, and say hello to Chris.” He needed to end the call he was knackered and starving. “Ok John, keep me informed, don’t make any decisions without me. Give him a hug from me.” “Will do, speak soon, bye.” John put the phone down and shouted upstairs to Tobey. “Sorted Tobey, you can stay at home…you don’t have to go to school. Chinese?”
John was sunbathing on the beach, sipping a cool beer and watching the sun glisten on the calm sea. He wondered where Helen was. Something was starting to make him feel uncomfortable. He could feel something vibrating, it was getting louder and louder, it sounded like a phone… He woke up bleary eyed, a little confused he looked for the source of the buzzing. It was his phone, he picked it up and squinted at the screen. Helen’s name came into focus. “Fuck!” Helen (his girlfriend) had rung yesterday, along with everyone else, and he had not got back to her, what with everything that was going on he had just plain forgotten. “Morning my love, how is my little ray of sunshine on this glorious morning.” John gave her, his stock morning greeting. “So you are alive then!” He sensed anger in her voice. “I really needed you yesterday, and you let me down John, why didn’t you respond?” “I am so sorry Hels, yesterday was just awful. I was going to ring you when I got in, then world war 3 had broken out between Tobey and Angie about school and the imminent lack of it. So I had to play peacemaker and sort that out, and then I completely forgot…I am so sorry!” “You forgot!!! You bastard John. I thought you loved me!” “Oh, please don’t be like that. Yesterday was just a string of distressed people at work followed by family drama at home and having to have a conversation with my ex-wife. I love you more than anything other than Tobey of course. What happened? I am here for you now.” “I have been redeployed John. I have got to go back to ICU.” She was crying, John felt so helpless over the phone. “I don’t want to go John, I am scared.” “Are you at work today?” John asked. “Yes I am telling my patients today, then next week I am wrapping up the service, some of my team will be staying behind as they are vulnerable, so they will look after the service until the rest of us comeback.” “Well come round straight after work, I will get a bottle of wine and make you a nice tea we can talk through it all. Bring your weekend bag and stay the weekend. Tobey is around but he will keep out of our way, he owes me big style. Now put that famous Helen smile on your face, be that wonderful Nurse you are for your patients today. You can be frightened and vulnerable Helen with me this evening. I love you so much it hurts.” “You are so lovely John, I love you too, thank you and I will see you tonight.” “See you tonight Hels.”
John had cooked her favourite Moussaka, with a salad and got a couple of bottles of her favourite Malbec. He wasn’t much of a wine drinker but he always had some Italian lager in the fridge, he just had to keep a close eye on it, so Tobey did not drink it all. He had ordered Tobey a Dominos and gave him a few beers and free range on his X-Box for the night to keep him out of the way. He was in Tobey’s good books anyway for allowing him to stay at home instead of going to school next week.
Helen had her own key, as he did for her place. She let herself in a called into the kitchen. “Hi John, I’m here, I bought some dessert.” Tobey came out of the living room to great her. “Hi Helen, how are you?” Helen smiled, she knew why he had come to meet her. “New York cheesecake Tobe, but don’t worry I got you some Ben and Jerry’s.” “Aw thanks Helen, you’re the best. Dad is in the kitchen. Just follow the sound of him murdering the Libertines.” He was right, John has banging out the words to Don’t Look Back Into the Sun, as it blasted out of his Alexa. She went into put the cheesecake in the fridge ,and the icecream in the freezer without him noticing. The music was so loud he was oblivious to what was going on around him. With that their favourite song came on just as she put her arms around him Toothpaste Kisses by The Macabees came on, she kissed him on the cheek. He smiled, put the knife down he was using to chop some tomatoes and turned round to give her a big kiss and a hug. Tears started to well up in her eyes, she was so relieved to be with him, to be in his arms, he felt so warm, so gentle, and so safe. “Hello my little ray of sunshine, what a lovely sight you are on such a day.” He whispered gently into her ear as their cheeks touched. “Oh you are a sight for sore eyes, after the past couple of days.” She replied as she clamped her lips on his. The stood in their embrace all the way through the next song (Alrighty Aphrodite by Peach Pit). He then relaxed his embrace, and commanded Alexa to stop so he could fully concentrate on her. “Aww don’t turn the music off, I love your taste in music.” He instructed the playlist to restart at a lower volume, he wanted hear about what was happening. “So tell me, what has been happening?” Helen went through how she had been told, how she felt. It was less about working in ICU and more about the unknown and the risk it would pose to those who she loved. There was a rumour that she might not be going to ICU as they needed some experienced respiratory nurses on the COVID wards to prevent admissions to ICU. She thought she would be quite happy with this, she knew a lot of the nurses on the wards and felt quite maternalistic towards them. He told her that, she had heard that Angie had been redeployed to ICU too. That might explain why she was on the ceiling yesterday. She wouldn’t tell him because she never shared anything about herself with him anymore.
They had their moussaka with some salad, and cuddled up in front of Netflix for the rest of the evening, transporting themselves to another world, they were finally getting round to watching Breaking Bad.
Over the weekend Tobey went out with his friends, and spent Saturday night sleeping over at Josh’s (his best friend) house. John and Helen spent most of Saturday in bed. They had planned to go to the pub on Saturday night, but as they were now closed, they went to the Supermarket to get some more drinks in, and order a takeaway, and settled down to watch more episodes of Breaking Bad. Sunday was Mother’s day, so much to his disgust Tobey was scheduled to spend the day at his Mums. Tobey got back to John’s house at 10am. John then dropped him off at Angie’s house with a bunch of flowers and a card. Helen had asked John if Tobey had got Angie anything at the supermarket on Saturday. John had starred blankly at her, so she went off found a nice bunch of flowers and a Happy Mother’s Day card and put them in the trolley. “You’re paying for them! Dickhead!” John just laughed. The drop off went without a hitch, mainly because he stayed in the car and drove off before Tobey got to the front door. He promised Tobey he would pick him up at 7pm. “Just think of it as an 8 hour shift, you are contractually obliged to complete.” John had suggested to a downcast Tobey as they pulled into Angie and Chris’ street.
John and Helen went off to visit John’s Dad on Sunday afternoon. A ritual John performed every Sunday since he had reconciled with his dad late last year after learning that he had lung cancer and was receiving palliative care. John had fallen out with his dad when he was a teenager. They had, had a big row about studying, and not living up to Patrick’s expectations of becoming an engineer like himself and Mark (John’s older brother). That big row turned physical when John had pushed Patrick and Patrick had lashed out and caught John on the chin with a right hook. John stormed out and never went back, in fact he did not speak to him until August last year. He hadn’t invited him to his graduation, wedding or informed him of the birth of Tobey. The only time he had seen his Dad was at his Mum’s funeral in 2017. His mum and dad had been divorced since 1989. John’s Mum, Jane had remarried to David a Police Officer. John and David never saw eye to eye and he had refused to live with them after a big row a few months after they had got married in 1992. Jane died in 2017 in a car crash, Dave had not been in the car with (mores the pity in John’s opinion, he is still an arsehole). After falling out with his step-dad and dad, John ended up living with his big Sister for 2 years until he went to university to train as a Children’s Nurse.
John went to pick up his Dad whilst Helen started cooking a Sunday roast of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Helen really liked Patrick, he was kind and funny, and such a storyteller. She wished she had known him when he was well, according to everyone that knows him and John, they are like peas in a pod, not just their looks but their outlook on life, they are both hopeless romantics.
John had a key for his Dad’s house. He lived in a 3 bedroomed semi in an affluent part of the city. It was the house he bought when he got divorced with the romantic notion that his children would come to stay with him, which didn’t exactly work out. Although John did live with him for a few years, Rachel and Mark were nearly adults and had moved to University. They used to come for weekends between terms, it never really turned into the family home he had dreamt of. John parked his car on the road outside the house. He walked past his Dad’s car a big old Audi he had, had for 20 years, and shook his head. He let himself in, whilst knocking at the same time. “Hi Dad…It’s John, are you ready?” No answer. “Dad! Where are you!” Always the bloody same, John exclaimed in his head. He knows what time I come on a Sunday. It’s always on his terms! John shouts up the stairs. “Are you there Dad?” No answer. He pops his head in the front room on the way to the kitchen. He thinks he knows where he will be, where he always is, if he is feeling stressed. In his garage/workshop tinkering on his pet project, the same one he has had for the past 20 years an old Norton motorbike, that he manages to get working periodically. John opened the back door and shouted across the open workshop door. “Dad, are you ready!” “Oh shit…is that the time?” Patrick appears at the garage door in his overalls, wiping his oily hands. “I am so sorry Son, I completely lost track of time.” John sighed under his breath a couple of years ago he would of lost his shit with him. Well in fact a couple of years ago he wouldn’t have been here at all. “Not to worry Dad. Are you ok?” Patrick looked grey and tired. “I am fine son, I felt quite bright today so I thought I would get cracking on the old bike before I run out of puff. This is the first day in ages I have this way, so you have to grab them when you can.” “You look shattered Dad.” “I am a bit tired now son to be honest, but I have had a smashing time tinkering, so it was worth it.” John could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He pushed them back down, and gave his Dad a gentle smile. “Are you going to be ok coming for dinner, or do you want me to bring a plate here?” Patrick shook his head. “And miss seeing Tobey, and the lovely Helen, no chance, plus warmed up Yorkshires are shit. Give me a couple of minutes to get out of these overalls, and have a wash and we can get going.” “Ok Dad, but please let me know when you have had enough, and I will bring you straight home.”
After about 20 minutes Patrick and John were finally in the car on the way back to John’s house. “Why don’t you get rid of that car Dad?” Patrick looked shocked. “What the Audi? Why on earth would I do that? It is my lifeline, how will I get to the shops?” “That’s what I wanted to discuss actually Dad. What with everything that is going on with COVID, I really don’t think you should be going shopping, you could end up catching it.” Patrick stared at his son. “What do you mean you don’t want me to go shopping? Don’t be ridiculous, I have got cancer, I am not an invalid yet, and whilst I can still be active I will be, some stupid little overhyped virus is not going to take that my independence away from me.” John tried not to roll his eyes. “It is not overhyped Dad, it really is killing people, all of us in the hospital are really worried about it. I think Boris is going to close everything down very soon anyway.” Patrick shook his head. “Well, no one is going to tell me where I can go and what I can do. Boris and his cronies can fuck off. Anyway how is the lovely Helen? Is she the one you think? I certainly hope so!” Patrick didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole any further. A much better subject in his opinion was the delightful Helen. He wished he had met someone like Helen, kind, funny, pretty and most importantly a wonderful cook. John smiled. “She is looking forward to seeing you. Work is difficult at the moment so she really enjoys our Sunday afternoons. A lot of her team are being moved to work on Intensive Care, and there is a possibility she might have to move there too. Angie has already moved.” Deftly ignoring the news of ICU, Patrick focused on is second favourite subject where John is concerned, his ex-wife. “How is the interfering Witch, still passing judgement on everyone else’s shortcomings?” John ignored him. “Tobey is looking forward to seeing you too. School has closed now so me and Angie have agreed that he can stay at home with me and do his work. I will be working from home 3 days a week from now on anyway.”
Helen was waiting for them in the hall when they opened the door. “Well there’s a sight for sore eyes, come here and make an old man happy.” Patrick opened his arms in anticipation for a hug from Helen. “You are such a charmer.” Helen gave him one of her trademark bear hugs and a kiss on the cheek. “How is the motorbike coming along?” Helen enquired as she guided him into the living room. “Let me get you a drink and you can tell me all about it, John can finish dinner.” Helen gave John a little smile. “Of course my dear, in fact sit down, I will get you and Dad a drink. Merlot alright Dad?”
Tobey joined them for dinner, they had a relaxed afternoon and early evening laughing and joking. John thought to himself that he wished he hadn’t been so stubborn for all those years. Then remembered Dad hadn’t always been this attentive, and it was only since his diagnosis that he had mellowed and realized the importance of family. That was also true of John, he had been shaken to his core by his Dad’s news and vowed not to waste anymore time on petty squabbles, and get closer to his family. It also made him realise that his relationship with Tobey was precious and mustn’t be squandered. He knew he was a selfish romantic, just like his Dad if he didn’t check his behaviour. He didn’t want his relationship with Tobey to go the same way as the relationship he had with his Dad. He knew he was too blame for the breakdown in his marriage. He realised now that he could harness his romantic view of life and did not always have to live up to the reputation he had, which he had inherited from his Dad. That Sunday afternoon was a special one, little did they all realise that it would be last one they would all spend together. If they had maybe they would have said more and would have held each other longer.
Connected Coaching 