Our default setting is to look for the negative in our lives. This is for good reason, it is designed to keep us safe in a world of physical danger. However most of us occupy a world where most of our dangers are theoretical. For many of us though it is just easier to see what is wrong with our world. We end up being a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. If all you do is look out for one thing, you will see it wherever you go. Like when you buy a new car, all of a sudden you see that same model of car every time you go out on the road.
Don’t worry there is nothing wrong with you. Our brains are wired this way to keep us safe. It is far easier to use the well worn path of this wiring, rather than changing it to look for an alternative more helpful view of the world. We have to make a conscious decision to look for what makes us grateful. This takes practice everyday to create a new worn path. The more we walk down that path the more automatic our grateful thoughts will become. We will still look for what might go wrong, that is just biology.
I have put a picture of my 2 boys in this blog. Ben my eldest is home this weekend, and it is wonderful to see them together, greeting each other with the finger and a broad smile, then chatting and laughing together. This week saw Jack’s band release their first single on all streaming platforms. A few weeks ago his band played the local venue (The New Adelphi, frequented back in the day by bands like Radiohead, Pulp, and Housemartins). Now both my sons are in bands that have music published online, and have played live gigs. That makes me so grateful and proud to have 2 wonderful young men as my sons.
Everyday I look at what I can be grateful for. I love my job and when I am teaching or coaching I feel so lucky that I do something that matches what I value. So even when I am doing something I enjoy less, such as writing a report or filling in spreadsheets, or attending meetings I know that soon I will be coaching someone or teaching a group of people. Going to work or taking the dog for a walk I see how beautiful the world we live in is. I am grateful to the people I work with now for inspiring me, and all the nurses I have ever worked with. But there are a few people in my world that have made a true difference to me and my life. My Mum, George and Sheila (friends of the family), Mr Bolton (my Primary School Teacher), Mrs Turner (my Sociology teacher), Stan (my Nursing Tutor), Michael and Jonathon (my school friends), Julian (my Best Man, and best friend), Mike (my friend), Louise and Dave (my brother and sister), my Dad, and last but not least Lisa (my wife). I know I could go on for ever listing who I am grateful for, and you know what I would love to. That little exercise has made me feel so happy. It has got me thinking how lucky I am and how blessed my life is.
We don’t have to put effort in to looking for what is wrong in our lives, so don’t put a lot of effort into it. We do have to make a decision to be grateful for our everyday lives, so do that. If you wake up in a bad mood (at least every other day for me) dig deep and look for what you can be grateful for. The more you do it the easier it will be. If you look for what is good in your life you will see it eventually, just keep looking.
If you want to do some work on your thinking and take action towards a new positive you, message me.
In the meantime, here is a playlist of my boys’ music.