22/03/2020 I applied to go onto the temporary Nursing Register

Back in October I came off the Nursing Register after 30 years. I had changed my role in the NHS to a non-clinical role as a Senior Organisational Development Practitioner and Coaching Lead. I didn’t need to be a Nurse and was certain I would not keep my skills up necessary to maintain my registration. Little did I know. On Thursday and Friday it was dawning on me that the steady stream of Nurses that were ringing up with symptoms or having to isolate because family members had symptoms will eventually turn into a torrent, and some serious re-organising would be required. So as well as the supportive, well being role I can provide, my nursing experience will also be needed. Last night I responded to my email from the NMC (Nursing and Midwifery Council) and applied to go back on the temporary register. Once the emergency legislation is passed in the coming days and a state of emergency is declared in the NHS, I will be placed on the register and will be able to practice as a Registered Nurse.

I am scared and apprehensive, not about being a nurse, to be honest I have not been away from the role long enough to have moved completely away from the identity of a nurse. I am apprehensive about what we all might be facing in the coming weeks, and how resilient I can be. I am comfortable with what I can and cannot do, and I willing to learn new skills or revise old ones. As a younger nurse working in very busy stressful environments I had been in positions where I was at the limit of my competence and capability. That was hard and stressful but it was always possible to ask for help, reconcile and learn from what I had happened. What is different now, and I think there are a lot of staff in healthcare that have this in the back of their minds, is that we all may be putting our own and our loved ones health at risk when we go to work. For some of us this may be theoretical, but I tell you what this is a new one on me. Even writing it down seems overly dramatic, and something you might hear in a Hollywood disaster movie. Then again these are unprecedented times, who knows what we are supposed to think anymore. I have concluded any worry or emotion I am feeling is legitimate. To be honest most of the time I don’t know what to think.

Yesterday was a tough day, mainly because I was not at work. I was left to my own devices. I found myself obsessing with the news and social media, overthinking everything and spending far too much time in future and nowhere near enough in the here and now. I had to steal myself away and do something useful that brought my attention to the future, and distracted me from my fears of the future. To some extent it was successful I did end up spending around 25% of my time yesterday not overly worrying. If it helps this is what I did:

  • Took the dog for a walk. She is old and slow but she does look cute when she shuffles along. To lift my mood I listened to a funk playlist. Yesterday the weather was lovely so I could take in the beauty of my surroundings with a soundtrack of Sly and the Family Stone
  • After a fix of social media and covid-19 news I went into the garden to cut the grass, accompanied by some funky baselines. This was the first cut of the year, so was quite a challenge. I sensibly graded the cuts so I did not rip the grass out of the ground (you can tell how desperate I am to normalise, I am actually blogging about cutting my grass).
  • I started writing an assignment for unit 6 of my coaching and mentoring level 7 course. I could not concentrate though, by this time my head was swimming.
  • As Jack my youngest was going into work, to clean the pub he works in, he needed his tea early, so I rather ponderously prepared his tea of salt and pepper chicken with the back drop of a Soul playlist. There is nothing better to cook to than a bit of soul music, and it just lifts your spirits.
  • The evening was spent watching season 1 of Spooks on the BBC iPlayer. I cannot believe it is 18 years old, and although very entertaining has really dated.

You get the gist I tried to keep the day as mundane and normal as possible. It worked for a while and will take more practice. I know we have to acknowledge what is happening, it is also important to keep doing normal stuff, something to quieten your chimp and make you feel comfortable.

I keep telling myself to pace myself, this is going to be long haul, and I don’t want to use up all my nervous energy too soon. After all it is not about winning the game it is all about staying in the game for as long as you can.

Just in case like me you are partial to a bit of funk, here is my playlist to brighten your Sunday.

And my soul playlist

21/03/2020 The day the Pubs shut

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I was manning the phones on our staff helpline when news came through that all pubs and restaurants would be closing. To be honest we were all expecting it, even wanted it to happen to try to halt the spread of the virus. But when the news came it shocked me, it added to the already surreal situation we are all facing. Both my boys work part-time in Pubs. Jack my youngest lives at home as up until Thursday he was at college doing his ‘A’ Levels. By yesterday evening he was no longer a student and no longer able to work. Ben my oldest is doing a Music Journalism degree in Manchester, and works in a bar to supplement his student loan to pay his bills. As he has a zero hours contract the bar he works in cannot pay him for his cancelled shifts, therefore he will be coming home, and trying to get a job, maybe in a supermarket or at a hospital. Jack will be doing the same.

So that happened in the afternoon, at 11 am I went into work to do a shift on the help-line. When I got to the hospital there was a queue outside the canteen as staff were collecting their free loaves of bread donated to us by a local bakery. Shift workers at the hospital have been finding it difficult to get hold of bread and other items from the shops as every time they managed to get to the shops many of the shelves were empty. This was definitely a morale booster. But I will air a word of caution, it is difficult at the moment, but not anywhere near as hard as it will be in the future, and it is not just us in the NHS who will be sacrificing a lot over the coming months. So my plea is to be generous and kind to everybody that is providing us all a service over the coming months . Look after our businesses large and small, help all the emergency services and healthcare providers by staying at home, as much as you can, and think about what you can do to help yourself, before access hard pushed services.

The bread donation was lovely as was the other free stuff and discounts offered by companies large and small, but it just added to the strangeness of our lives.

The phone lines did not seem to be as busy yesterday, as they had seemed on Thursday. I spent the day listening and talking to confused, scared, frustrated and sometimes sick people. Sometimes I felt like I had done a good job and allayed people’s fears and gave them the space to work out what they need to do, and then sometimes I felt as if I could not help others.

All day I was in the moment and faced what came my way, at some points I felt comfortable and other points I felt challenged, but I just did it. When I got home it hit me like a wall of fear and sadness, some of it mine, some of what I heard over the day, and some if it I imagined people were feeling. I felt overwhelmed, so I sat on my sofa and just let everything wash over me. Thankfully Brene Brown’s podcast Unlocking Us, had just dropped. So I put my headphones on and immersed myself in her warm, comforting voice. She talked about the pandemic and articulated perfectly how it feels and that it is new for all of us, and when we experience newness and uncertainty, it is very difficult, and we can get through by articulating and talking about our emotions. It helped me so much.

When the podcast had finished, I put Let it Be on by The Beatles on spotify and let my emotions wash over me.

Now I chose Let it Be, because my son had sent me a draft of an article he had written reviewing his favourite Beatles album. To be honest that article was a beacon of light in quite a dark day. If I had not read that I would not have thought about listening to the album and then really connecting with the song Let it Be, which is now my soundtrack for this pandemic so thank you so much Ben for helping me connect with my emotions.

So I will sign off with Let it Be.

A diary of my experiences during these strange times 20/03/2020

So I read on Facebook last night a post encouraging people to keep a diary of their experiences during this extraordinary time. This morning I have been sat here on my computer with the news on feeling a little overwhelmed and emotional, so I thought, why not share my thoughts on here to help me make sense of my emotions and possibly help other people make sense of their emotions.

This week has been the strangest week I have ever experienced. Monday started fairly normally, I was teaching on an introduction to coaching study day. That was the last study I will facilitate for a while now. At lunch time we got the news that all non-essential meetings and training would be cancelled to allow for preparation for the impact COVID-19 will have on our services.

I spent Tuesday closing down all my coaching work and preparing for what I may be doing over the coming months, and Wednesday I was allocated to my new temporary role working on a helpline for staff.

Yesterday the helpline started, I was really nervous about what I would be doing, and working alongside new people. The people were lovely (of course they would be), the work was very similar to coaching in some respects, but in others much more challenging. Knowing when to give advice and when to ask questions and let them come to their own conclusions was quite challenging. The calls we were taking were tier 2 so they were generally more complex than just giving standard advice. It was not really busy, thankfully as we do need time to get skilled at building a rapport and provide useful actionable support in around 7 minutes, all over the phone. It is critical will help staff make the right decision about coming to work or planning for self isolation. As the cases go up in this area the busier we are going to be to steer them in the right direction.

Alongside of this schools and colleges close today. Jack my youngest was due to sit his A levels and complete his B-Tec in Music Production. This is not going to happen now. As he has been doing mock exams, his last lesson was last Tuesday. He was in on Wednesday, but that was it. He no longer goes to college. That feels so strange, in fact I got quite emotional about it this morning. It has brought forward my son becoming an adult. I wasn’t ready for this. I know it sounds silly but it has brought it into focus, that our life has changed for ever now.

Ben my eldest is in Manchester at BIMM, they broke up last week, and he has stayed in Manchester to work in a bar. Now that is uncertain, he has shifts for now. I am having to steal myself from being an over protective Dad and let him live his life. Deep down I want him home with us, but I also want him to continue to be independent and continue to do what he does. So Ben if you are reading this, you do want you know to be best for you.

As you know Mum my has lung cancer. She is now self isolating and is doing as she is told. I speak to her everyday, and she is well, but worried, and fed up with being stuck at home.

My niece Katie was due to be Married at the beginning of April, now that has been postponed until the autumn. It was supposed to be her Hen do last night and Lisa was due to go. That did not happen, it is so sad. I was really looking forward to seeing all of my family at the wedding, now I will have to wait until September. We have a plan though and e can all look forward to a lovely celebration in the Autumn, with an extra bridesmaid (Katie is pregnant and is expecting a little girl).

Stay strong everybody, keep an eye on why you do what you do. Make plans, and be creative.

I will post again tomorrow.

Look after yourself by caring for others

There is plenty of research that shows caring for others actually restores us and improves our own sense of well-being.

We are a social species, therefore concern and care for the well-being of others is a biological need and necessity.

If you are worried and anxious, one strategy for alleviating this is connecting with people, othering support, either practical or a listening ear.

The sense of all being in it together is very reassuring. We saw this weekend communities in Italy pulling together singing songs to support and reassure each other.

Playing your part in your community will, I guarantee help your mental health and well-being. It does not have to be a big gesture. Buying just what you need, offering to shop for an elderly relative or neighbour, not going to work if you can work from home, suggest staff do the same, or even just picking up the phone and texting or chatting to with someone.

Being kind, and paying attention to those around you, will pay dividends for the community and yourself.

So please be kind look after others to look after yourself.

  • Practice social distancing, including working from home if you can
  • Only buy what you need
  • Offer to shop for others
  • Make regular contact over the phone or Internet with friends and family

DON’T PANIC!

Easier said than done at the moment for many people. It seems that where ever you turn Covid-19 is front and centre.

Every news item has a coronavirus element, social media is awash with advice and memes. Some of them are useful others are just designed to misinform and spread panic. On top of this, coronavirus dominates our thoughts, so if it dominates our thoughts we will see it at every turn.

Remember many of my previous blogs that mention Prof Steve Peters’ ‘Chimp Paradox’. Well you can see what is happening here. We are being put under threat, so our limbic system (chimp) is active and is especially active when we are exposed to social media, and the news in particular. Our limbic systems though want to do something about this threat, and it wants to do something now. This is why we are seeing some strange behaviour from some people, such as panic buying, over thinking symptoms we may have, and just being very anxious, about the effects it may have on us. Some of us will consider the threat is not imminent and assume everyone is overreacting and there really is nothing to worry about. Hopefully our limbic systems are creating a sense of cleanliness and we all start washing our hands more frequently than we do at the moment

Now a lot of these behaviours are not very helpful, apart from handwashing and social distancing. If we are exposed to these potential threats continuously, our levels of anxiety are going to up and up and have a detrimental effect on our mental health, and our resilience. Now we cannot ignore what is happening or down play it, but we have to maintain a balance and look after our mental health.

Remember my post on resilience (https://mattycoach71.com/2020/03/04/maintaining-resilience-in-the-face-of-corona-virus/) from the other week? The first thing to do is to bring yourself into the present and to stop imagining your future. Using some mindfulness techniques will bring you into the hear and now and set you free from your unhelpful thoughts. One of the easiest techniques is to count your breaths. Count in cycles of 10. When you notice your mind wandering, restart your counting from 1 again. Don’t worry if you struggle to get to 10 just keep starting again. Each time you do this, you will set yourself free of those thoughts, and quietens your mind. Give yourself a break from the news and social media. Do something you enjoy, read a book, listen to some music, get some exercise.

If you find yourself getting acutely anxious there are a couple of techniques to use. If you are at home it is important to get your heart rate up, so if you can, do some exercise, it helps you get into the present and convinces your limbic system that you have responded to a threat and released that adrenaline. Another is to practice square breathing. Breath in for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4, breath out for a count of 4, and hold for a count of 4, and repeat for at least 4 cycles. This is a technique used by American Special Forces to calm them before kicking doors in and the such.

So keep you yourself present, remember you are still alive and need to live your life and get stuff done. Remind yourself of your purpose, the reason why you do what you do. Keep that in your mind, whether that is for some altruistic reason, or just to provide a better life for your family. This situation could be ongoing for a few months, so you will need to check your motivation over the coming months. Being in touch with your purpose is essential not just for now but for any event in your life.

Be creative, look at different ways of working, like working from home, using the internet to conduct business. do some batch cooking and fill up your freezer, adjust your budgets and spending, look at what is essential, what is important and what is a nice to have. Become a problem solver, rather than an issue seeker.

To sum up. Accept that it is hard, and that your emotions are effected, keep yourself in the present, remind yourself of your purpose, and start thinking out of the box.

Above all DON’T PANIC!!! It might be bad, but having a room full of toilet rolls, dried pasta and hand sanitiser is not going to make it any better.

Coming to terms with uncertainty

Over the past year I have faced uncertainty more than ever before. I have always faced uncertainty, as we all have, but like must of us, I chose to ignore it, and apply a reason or possible outcome that suited my narrative. We all do this, we apply endings and reasons for what is happening to us that we don’t understand, that is how our minds like to work, we like to think in patterns. Thinking in patterns helps us understand what is going on around us. When we see or experience an event, we check our memory vaults for anything similar. If we cannot find anything similar, we will look for something that is a bit the same, if there is nothing a bit the same, we will change it to fit what we have. We will always attempt to understand our world by applying it to what we already know, we desire certainty so much that we can adjust reality so we can have certainty.

There are times that certainty is just not possible, and no matter how much we try to make it fit to what we know, we just cannot. It feels like the rug has been pulled out from underneath you, you feel all at sea. Every time you think you have an angle on what is happening something contradicts it. The more you look for certainty the more uncertain it all becomes, the more unsettled and lost you feel.

About a year ago my Mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. Before she was diagnosed the uncertainty was awful. As a family we would latch on to a certain word or treatment possibility only for that to be discounted. In our minds we knew what the worst outcome was, but everything in between felt so uncertain. Everybody that is involved in the treatment and care for my Mum are wonderful and lovely, but they could not and still cannot give us the answers we need and don’t want all at the same time. Since diagnosis Mum has started her treatment, it took some adjustments and change of treatment for the side-effects to settle down. Constantly though we are faced uncertainty of not knowing what is around the corner. If we are not careful in our unguarded moments we can get sucked in to searching for uncertainty, spending too much time in the future looking for something to latch on to, something that just is not there. The past is not a good place for reference points, attributing our previous experience of cancer is very unhelpful, for either terrifying us, or giving false hope.

From now on, I am going to describe how I live with this uncertainty and how I help my Mum deal with her uncertainty (however in reality she does incredibly well already). So when I find myself grappling for answers spending too much time in the past or catastrophising in the future, I take a moment to centre myself. I will use a simple mindfulness technique. I refocus on what is happening around me right now. I have a look at what is around me. I listen to the ambient sounds. I take notice of the ambient temperature. I will then take notice of the physical sensations I am feeling from my head to my toes. If I am still not quite back in the room I will count my breaths in a cycle of 10 (1-10 then back to 1-10) for as long as feels comfortable, and my mind is less busy. Every time my mind wanders I notice the thoughts I am having and go back to my counting. This is the important aspect, the letting go of my thoughts is really helpful, it reminds me that it is only a thought (either a recalled memory or an imagined future). Now this process does not get rid of the discomfort of uncertainty completely, but it does help me put it into context. Nothing other than what is happening right now and our ultimate demise is certain. It is a given that we are all going to die, and if you are busy thinking and worrying about death then you are still alive, and everything is uncertain.

I have noticed that this approach helps me deal with the uncertainty we face with my Mum’s diagnosis and treatment, along with my own hopes and fears for my future. The future is never guaranteed, but the present is.

The world at the moment seems full of uncertainty, however I am sure it always has been thus. With potential pandemics, and a possible resulting recession, alongside Brexit negotiations, our world at the moment feels very uncertain. Keeping a cool head and maintaining a grounded balanced approach, by being more present and not getting stuck for too long longing for a simpler past or dreaming of a better future. Practicing being present will help if you find yourself struggling with uncertainty.

Live you best life now, not in the future or the past.

If you want to work some more on how to live with uncertainty message me.

Don’t let your past define you, just appreciate it for what it is.

My Sister Louise and my Grandad sometime in the mid to late 60s (apporx 1967) in our back garden in Rowner, Gosport

I was born in Gosport, Hampshire some 4 years after this picture was taken. I was born in the house in the house where this picture was taken. The house was married quarters for Royal Naval personnel. My Dad was a Petty Officer in the Royal Navy.

My Dad was absent for much of my childhood, when I was young he spent a lot of time at sea, and when he wasn’t at sea he did not spend a huge amount of time in our company. He was a product of his generation and the forces, so was more of a man’s man than a family man.

When he left the Navy in 1981 we moved to Chester, my parents’ hometown. As I said my Dad was not suited to family life and after a few years my parent’s got divorced. Nothing unusual there, families were breaking up left right and centre in the 80s. But it did feel very uncomfortable being in the middle of it. Around this time my brother and sister had left home, leaving me and mum alone. You can imagine the emotional upheaval my Mum and I were going through. My Mum had kicked her husband out, said goodbye to 2 of her children, and moved home all in the space of a couple of years. On top of this I was going through puberty. In hindsight this could have destroyed us both. It didn’t, it drew us closer, it made the bond between us incredibly strong, a bond that has only strengthened over the years. Don’t get me wrong I carried the scars from this time for many years, in fact I have only recently shed them in the past few years, when I decided that my past did not define me, it just guides my choices.

Me and my lovely Mum March 2019

As I said I did let my past define me for a number of years as an adult. In 1989 I moved to Hull to do my Nurse training. Leaving Mum was incredibly hard, but I knew I needed to make my own life. This was led by those battle scars defining who I was. I was determined my life was not going to like my Father’s. So for the next 25 years I was in a constant state of turmoil trying to enjoy my life, but constantly looking over my shoulder waiting for it all to go wrong, and not seeing my past for what it really was.

In spite of this turmoil in my life I did manage to create something special as I look back on it now. I just wish I had the insight I do now so I could have enjoyed it a lot more. But that was how it was, and this is how it is now, and for the rest of my life I will see it for what it really is.

So what is it really? My life, no that’s it, it’s my life, good bad and indifferent. What has happened, happened, some of it was shit, some of it was alright, and quite a lot of it was blooming amazing. So in the future my life will be shit, alright, and blooming amazing. Life is only as good as it is right now. Grasp it with both your hands and enjoy it for what it is, your life! Look back on your life and see it for what it is, your life. Do not let the past define you. Let the present define you. Here are some pictures of my past that make me smile and allow me to appreciate those blooming amazing moments.

Does your leadership style increase the risk of error

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Many of us are taught that leaders must be in complete control of what is happening in their team. This approach however is more likely to lead to error and poor performance.

If there is a culture of dominant leaders within your organisation and team, then there is only ever one voice dictating what happens. There is no overlap of thinking that prevents blind-spots. The more views that are heard the better quality of decisions. Being the leader does not make you the most competent person in the room. If you stifle opinion by demanding that your voice is the final voice or worse the only voice in the room, then you really are putting the activity and possible people’s lives in peril. If you are that dominant leader then members of your team will not be telling you what they see, they will not tell you that things are about to go wrong, for fear of being chastised. As the leader it is your responsibility to ensure the best plan is constructed and the best decision is made, they do not have to be yours. The role of the leader is to support the team to deliver the best possible performance, not to dictate the performance.

If you want to improve performance and reduce risks, you will have to completely re-think how you lead. Having a high performing, flexible team, that is able to effectively manage risk, whilst being innovative is quite straightforward. All it takes is a mindset shift and perseverance. It requires you and the team to change some habits that you have formed over your working life. This is going to take some practice, it is straightforward and obvious not easy, if it was easy you would be doing it already. Below are the steps you need to take to start this transformation in your team.

Establish the purpose of the team

Are you and everyone in the team clear on what the purpose of your team is. It is worth as a team writing your mission statement. But before you jump in and write a team mission statement, ask everyone to write their own first. If you write a team mission statement first it is likely to be dominated by your thoughts and the thoughts of the more senior team members. It is important that everyone’s voice is heard and is represented. Therefore allowing people to write their own mission statement by themselves gives them a voice and empowers them. Once everyone has their own mission statement, these are then pinned to a wall without names (get everyone to word process their statements so they are not identifiable) and key words are themed by the team to develop a team mission statement based on the individual statements. Trust me this works, as most peoples mission statements are similar therefore themes are possible. It is important that this mission statement session is facilitated by someone external to ensure all members of the team contribute and feel comfortable. Now you have a mission statement that everyone has an investment in. For a team to be effective it is vital that they have a purpose they can all buy into and that they all have a voice.

Have clear lines of communication

Now everyone has a voice, it is important that everyone uses it. Briefings and debriefings are vital everyday. These are information sharing and issue discussion sessions where all team members have a space to inform the team of their workload, request support and discussion any issues they have. These sessions should be chaired by the leader. Accountability for any actions that follow is held by the team member, and they are accountable to the team. The leader is there to make sure this accountability is maintained and to ensure everyone has the opportunity to air their issues. It is so important that everyone’s knowledge, expertise and competence is acknowledged within the team. Then when there is a crisis the team member best suited to make a decision is able to do this.

Have a culture of support and kindness

Assume everyone in the team is doing their best. If you think people in your team are lazy good for nothings, they will never work hard in the team. They will know you have a low opinion of them and they no doubt will have a low opinion of you and the team and will become disengaged. If however you believe they are doing their best, but for some reason, from time to time their best will not be up to the standard it is needed, then you can support them to improve. The ‘is every thing okay’ question followed ‘what can I or we do to support you’, will evoke a completely different response than ‘this is not good enough’ or ‘what have you been doing’. People do not deliberately do a bad job without reason. Rather than condemn them, find out what is causing them problems, and support them to solve it. We all respond well to kindness, and having a supportive caring atmosphere at work makes us all feel safe and work more efficiently. It is also encourages everyone in the team to be open and honest when mistakes happen, or when they need support with something. Kindness or compassion if you like, is not weak and fluffy, it is essential for performance and a safe working environment.

These 3 elements of purpose, communication and support provide the basis of trusting team, that is able look at continual improvement, alongside managing the risks they encounter. A team that knows it’s strengths and weaknesses and who is best suited to deal with eventualities. The leader becomes a member of the team with a specific role and not the figurehead, or dictator. The leader brings all the elements of the team to deliver the desired performance. An effective leadership model should mean that the leader can be replaced at anytime without any detrimental effect on the team.

Please message me if you want to discuss how you can get the most out of your leadership.

Maintaining resilience in the face of corona virus

Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

Whether you are a leader, a worker, a teacher, or a parent, the news at the moment is troubling. Every time we turn on the news we are face with worse case scenarios of what may be facing us in the coming months.

Now depending on your personality type you are either concerned, indifferent or keeping a watching brief. I think it is inevitable that there will be an impact on all of our lives, whether that is small or significant it is not certain. Ignoring or overreacting to the news at the moment is not going to make you, your family or organisation very resilient I am afraid, you are even going to woefully under prepared or mentally exhausted. At this stage it is important to keep a watching brief and be prepared.

Diane Coutu in her HBR article “How Resilience Works” she lays out 3 elements that will increase your own and your organisation’s resilience. This approach will help you maintain your level of resilience all the time if you adopt it. It is an approach I use in coaching to help people assess how resilient they are and what they need to address to maintain their resilience.

Firstly lets explore what I mean by resilience. The dictionary definition of resilience is…’the capacity to recovery quickly from difficulties.’ I would describe resilience is being able to pick yourself up and carry on after being knocked down, with the ability to learn from that experience and adapt. I have heard the word toughness used, I prefer the word flexible and reflexive. Being strong is just not enough when you are under attack. Big strong trees are often blown down by strong winds whereas grasses that move with the wind stay intact. Therefore being resilient is being able to move with the wind, you might get battered but you wont be destroyed. Now we have cleared up what I mean when I say resilient lets have a look at what you will need to pay attention to.

As mentioned Diane Coutu highlights three areas you will need to pay attention to help with your resilience, they are; realism, purpose, and creativity. If you want to be able to be flexible when faced with something challenging like corona virus, you have to pay attention to all 3, not just one in isolation.

  • Realism: How prepared are you for corona virus, for instance do you have resources to sustain you for 2 weeks. If you are a manager or business owner, can you continue to stay open if members of staff are off sick for 2 weeks? Do you need to consider how you will manage on reduced income. Do you have plans in place if work activity is dramatically reduced? Do you need to consider contingency plans? At home do an inventory of staple foods, such as tinned ad frozen food. There is no need to panic, but it is worth making say double the amount of curries, casseroles, and the likes and freeze half. Consider having a couple of bags of frozen veg, chips, meat, and fish in the freezer. Have a look in your freezer and cupboards you may well have these in, if you have not then buy an extra bag of something or an extra tin of something each time you go shopping. This will not empty the shops or your bank. Start to practice not touching your eyes and mouth, and practice washing your hands every time you enter the office, work space, or home. None of these things will be over burdensome, but will make life easier if there are problems. It is important to recognise that there will always be a problem coming our way, and what plans do we in place to should things go wrong.
  • Purpose: When things get tough either at home or work, it is vital to have a strong reason why. At home it may be to maintain the lifestyle you have, to have the nice house, holidays and the love of your family. For others it will be to maintain living in a certain place surrounded by people that are important, or to get home and feel safe and secure. At work your reason why is sometimes harder to find. If you own your own business are you clear about what you want to achieve, do you have your companies’ values and mission statement clearly written and displayed for customers and employees, to remind everyone why you are all there. Do you and who you work with buy in to your values and mission statement. When things get really tough many of us need a really strong reason why to go to work or put effort in to keep a company going. If you don’t want to be a casualty of the corona virus economic fallout this is something that will need attention.
  • Creativity: When the chips are down we will not have all the resources we need. People will be off sick, you may well be sick, therefore it is important to be able to be creative with what you have. Whether that is considering how you will maintain your organisation on a reduced workforce, or responding more creatively to the needs of customers. At home this might mean considering creative recipes to use up food in the cupboard. My wife calls these meals ‘if-its’ in the cupboard Matt will make it. Sometimes you can discover some gems and ultimate family favourites. Other times you will come across some terrible combinations that you will never cook again. Being creative, is making the best of a bad job. When you have a strong reason why being creative is a lot easier. If you have thought creatively when you have made plans, then being creative can be a lot less onerous.

Make an assessment of your home life and work life. What do you need to pay attention to? If you are concerned about your organisation, do you have the power to make a difference? If you do then get in touch, lets have a conversation to see if I can support. If you are a worker, what can you pay attention to personally that help you and your team be resilient, again please message me if you want to discuss this further.

In the spirit of creativity I also offer online, or telephone coaching. Message me to find out more.

Practice going with the flow

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

About 3 or 4 years ago I heard Miles Hilton-Barber being interviewed on the radio. That interview stopped me in my tracks, it was a truly inspirational interview. If you don’t know who he is, google him, Miles is a blind explorer, the man is incredible, completely nuts, but incredible and inspiring. During this interview, he said something that has stuck with me ever since and I often quote it during lectures and time out sessions.

“We always have two enemies stood at either shoulder, preventing us from living up to our potential, and they are the fears of the future and the regrets of the past.”

It has been a long time so that might not be the exact quote, but you get the drift.

The past and the future are very useful as reference points, but should not be places we spend too long in, whether that is in a negative or a positive sense. Spending too long causes inactivity, and more or less guarantees a less than helpful future.

So make plans for the future, using experiences of the past to inform those plans, but to make those plans a reality it is essential to spend the vast majority of your time in the present in action.

Now things go wrong, and things go right. Life is not designed for our convenience, all we can do is take part in it. To be active participants, and not bystanders. We have to acknowledge that we play are part in all aspects of our life, the good bits and the bad bits. Take credit for everything you do including the terrible disasters. Stop looking for someone to blame, don’t be bashful when stuff goes brilliantly well. Things go well because of us, and things get really messed up because of us, put your hand up for both.

We all the are people around us that are living their best lives, and they we are not. They probably think that of you. Instead of wishing your life was better than it is, live your life. It could be worse, it could be better. One thing is for certain, is that it is yours and it is the only one you have.

I know that was a bit cliched, but sometimes we all forget to live our lives, I know I certainly do. I have to remind myself that I am in charge of what happens next to me, not physically sometimes but always mentally. I can choose to take what is most helpful to me to enable me to live up to my potential.

Now I have just had a chuckle to myself, as I was about to write a limiting statement about my past and how I could have benefited from this insight then. But that does not serve me any purpose, other than cause me to feel regret. That is why I write this blog, so I can help sort my own shit out.

To recap (mostly for my benefit). Use the past and future as reference points, not places of residence. They are essential for planning, but remember planning is useless without action, which you have to be present for. Accept the part you play in every aspect of your life. If it happened and you were in the room, it was your fault, along with everyone else. But don’t be shy when you smash it out of the park, you are that good.

Write your own story, don’t let anyone do it for you.

message me to write your own story.