My Album of The Year

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As you all know from my blogs music plays an important part in my life. I take music with me wherever I go. Whether that be on my run, on the way to work, in my office and in the seminar rooms just before teaching. Music can provide a narrative to what is going on around me. When I rediscover a piece of music I have not listened to for a while it evokes feelings and memories of the time I first listened to it. Music can also create a mindful state to help me reconnect with myself when I have been over thinking. In essence music is my safe place. Therefore the music has to be pretty special to evoke these feelings.

I have chosen 10 of my favourite albums that have been released this year. At least 2 or 3 of these albums will live long in my consciousness and evoke feelings and memories in the future. All of the albums have provided me a safe place throughout the year. However my number 1 album this year I have no doubt will be a favourite of mine for some time to come. This from a band that I have paid little attention to for the past 10 years, and it took them to split up and reunite to produce in my opinion a classic album. If you have not listened to American Dream by LCD Soundsystem then I implore you to do so, every track is a delight,

So here is my top ten albums of 2017

  1. American Dream-LCD Soundsystem
  2. Pure Comedy-Father John Misty
  3. Popular Manipulations-The Districts
  4. Villains-Queens of The Stone Age
  5. I See You-XX
  6. Little Fictions-Elbow
  7. Deep Understanding-The War on Drugs
  8. Stranger in The Alps-Phoebe Bridges
  9. Everything is Forgiven-Methyl Ethel
  10. Sempa Femina-Laura Marling

I derive a lot of pleasure from music as many people do. So by putting together a top 10 list and talking about it, I am celebrating a positive part of my life. It is so important to consciously acknowledge what is positive in your life on a daily basis. It is so easy to dwell on what is not going well and miss what is good. I am not saying ignoring what is going wrong is the way to go far from it. If you look at what is good first you start to feel positive and put yourself in a far better frame of mind to tackle what needs to be addressed rather than just feeling about what is going wrong. There is always something positive in your life.

 

 

Feeling a bit meh?

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Well that title sort of sums up my week really. Not exactly miserable, but not motivated enough really to do anything.

From a health and fitness point of view nothing seems to be working fast enough for me this week. I am not really losing any weight and I don’t feel any fitter really. As a consequence this has knocked my confidence and motivation. I have really had to drag myself out for a run this week, and when out I have given up quicker than I should. I would like to say my diet has suffered too, but in all honesty I my diet remains as shit as it was before I started trying to get fit again.

Essentially I have felt sorry for myself all week, not really achieving much. The thing is self pity can spiral if left unchecked. By the middle of the week I was starting to feel bad about not really doing much, and I started to be over critical of myself, so I didn’t go for a run on Thursday and again yesterday, with ‘what’s the point, it’s not working….’ ringing in my ears.

Yesterday was the critical point, this was potentially a point where I could just give up. If I continued to punish myself for being unmotivated I would definitely given up. Last night it would have been so easy to give up telling myself that I can never finish anything and quietly go back to being a couch potato. Instead I let myself off feeling this way. I said to myself that it is ok to be in a cannot be arsed mood every now and then. I then asked myself, ‘what are you going to do about it then?’ So this morning I have a plan to continue what I was doing keep running regularly, and gradually increase the distance I am running. Something that I have been doing. Instantly I felt more positive and relaxed. I have to remember I am 46 and overweight, so I cannot expect to run 5km in under 30 minutes. But I know I can run 3km comfortably at the moment. The one thing I am going to address is my diet. This is something that I have not tackled and if I am honest I have probably neglected slightly thinking that just exercise would solve the problem (this was based purely on hopeful thinking not scientific evidence). This is my blind spot, so I am currently developing a list of possibilities of how I am going to achieve this. On the face of  it, it is simple (reduce input and increase output). The issue is that my reason to do it so far does not outweigh the enjoyment of chocolate, crisps, chips, anything fatty and stodgy (bloody hell I feel hungry now). Watch this space I feel a working plan will be in place very soon.

Motivation will fluctuate when you are attempting to reach your goal. It is important that you relax and accept it as a natural part of the change process. Just ask yourself how you are going to overcome this. It is always good to re-examine your reason for making a change to your lifestyle as it may need revising.

If you wish to explore making a change to your lifestyle get in touch for a free consultation.

Have a compelling reason to change

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At some point in our lives I suppose we all decide to change something in our life that we think is unhealthy, or limiting us. For me this has been especially acute as I travel through middle age, and parts of your body don’t seem to work as well as they used to.

It doesn’t matter what you want to change, if you want to make it permanent then you will have to prepare yourself. Most of us wander blindly into a change, and suddenly make knee jerk reactions, as a result of something adverse happens to us. For me it would be getting my shorts out for the summer and realising I cannot fasten the button. “Right that’s it, I am going on a diet, I look disgusting!” This is never going to be a good enough reason to lose weight. Once I have gotten over my indignation I would just buy a bigger pair of shorts.

Moving away from a negative lifestyle or situation rarely works for any length of time. Ask yourself how many times have you been on a diet. Many of us do very well at first if we use a sensible diet plan such as those organised established diets such as Weightwatchers or Slimming World. How long do maintain your new weight for? How many of you actually get to your final target weight? When most of us embark on a diet our primary goal is not to be fat, to lose weight. Or if we try to give up smoking we want to stop as it is expensive. In both examples we a moving away from a negative. However the further away from the negative we move, the reason for making the change becomes less, therefore our motivation to maintain and consolidate the wonderful change lessens. Then when something stressful happens in our life, we immediately say “I cannot do this, there is just too much going on in my life, I need a fag, or chips or wine or cake.” Then all that hard work has come to nothing and we end up back at square one.

Instead of moving away from a negative, why don’t you move towards a positive future? For instance when I gave up smoking I asked myself what do I value the most. I was able to answer straight away without any hesitation. I value the time with my children above anything else. I then asked myself in the next 10 -15 years what will I value. That was easy again, it was spending time with my children’s family. I imagined myself playing with my grandchildren in the garden, taking them on adventures, and generally being a fun granddad. I asked myself if I could guarantee that I would be able to do all these things in my sixties if I continued to smoke 20 cigarettes a day. Would I be around to see my grandchildren grow into adults like my mum has? I struggled to answer that question. I then knew exactly what I needed to do, and giving up smoking was easy from then on. I had a compelling reason to give up smoking. More importantly I can use that same reason when continuing to change my lifestyle to a more healthy one.

As I am moving towards my goal my motivation to stay a non-smoking is always high.

Never rush into a change if you want to succeed, take you time and think carefully why you want to make the change.

If you want to discuss this further to help discover your compelling reason or keep you focussed get in touch either by email or messaging via social media.

Are you satisfied with your life

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From time to time I feel dissatisfied with my life. I feel I should be more than I am, that I do not live up to my potential. I should have a higher paid job, I should be living in a big house, driving a fancy car, going on exotic holidays. I should be more decisive at work, be pro-active, ruthless, a go getter. Sound familiar?

These are just some of the markers of success that our culture values, therefore we have a tendency to measure ourselves them, and decide if we are a success or not. Invariably with are not able to live up to all if any of these values. But we are constantly exposed to the idea that people around us are doing better than us. Pre-social media this exposure was limited to people we saw on the telly, the odd self publicist and gossip. Now we are all connected with have all become shameful self publicist, and now it seems even our friends and neighbours have a better life than us. This just adds to our feelings of inadequacy, and dissatisfaction. This clearly is no way to live our lives.

One answer to this problem I suppose would be to disconnect yourself from all forms of social media. But social media has so much going for it. You would not be reading this blog for one if you stopped engaging with all forms of the media. After all Facebook and Twitter are great ways to share with everyone, how much of a nice time you had, or to share a common experience, therefore adding to your feelings of satisfaction.

The answer is not to change the world but to change the way you see the world and how you respond to what you see. The first thing to do is to assess how you see yourself based on your own measure of satisfaction rather than the medias’. I like to measure myself against Martin Seligmann’s conditions that are required for happiness. Martin Seligmann suggested that to be happy the following conditions need to be present in your life. If you are happy then you will feel more optimistic about you future and therefore more likely to succeed and feel satisfied. The conditions are:

Positive Emotion; how many times a day do you laugh and smile?

Engagement; do you take part in activities that you do for the sake of it, something you don’t have to think too much about (reading, sewing, running, singing etc.)?

Relationships; how often do you see or speak to family or friends or both?

Meaning; why do you do what you do? what are your values?

Achievement; this does not have to be academic or vocational achievement, it could be baking bread for the first time, a personal best time swimming or running, anything where you have done your best, and achieved personal excellence (as good as you can do it). How many times have a you achieved this week.

Answer the questions relating to each condition above. What are areas of your life do you need pay attention to your life to be satisfied? Identify them and then plan how to address them. This is how you can be successful, rather than trying to live up to an impossible ideal imagined through our cultural idea of success.

Be happy, be what you want to be, then you will be successful.

If you want to discuss this further, or want some coaching to have a successful happy life, email me.

Matt@mattycoach71.com

Free Coaching

How often does someone truly listen to what you have to say? We all need to be listened to without having someone else’s opinion imposed on your thoughts.

A coach such as myself will listen to what you have to say on your terms in confidence.

A coach such as myself will help you put you thoughts into order, by reflecting what you say, asking clarifying questions, and simply paying attention to what you say, making you the most important person in the room.

We all have times when or thoughts and ideas come thick and fast and we need someone to be a sounding board to help us put our thoughts into a plan that will result in action.

This is the coaching that I offer, and currently I am offering 5 free coaching sessions if you get in touch with me before 1st August.

If you are not from Hull I can offer face time, watsapp or messenger coaching.social-listening-B2B

Next Release from Vialetters

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The releases are coming thick and fast now. Below is a link to next track via their Facebook page. This is my personal favourite. Above is my favourite picture of the band taken at The New Adelphi in Hull, where bands like Pulp and  The Housemartins cut their teeth. Enjoy and spread the word.

State of Me

 

Everything Is Going To Be OK

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All us adults between 40 and 70  have tried our best to stuff everything up. We were the generations that had it easier than any other generation in the history of the world. In the UK we had universal health care (free at the point of access), free education up to University. Excellent pay and work conditions, which has led to a whole economy based on leisure and entertainment.

Now instead of using these opportunities wisely, considering parts of the world with less opportunity, the environment and future generations, we greedily consumed all we could and more, without a thought of how we were going to pay for it all.

Well now the bill has arrived, in the guise of financial meltdown worldwide, global warming, racial and religious intolerance, and the resulting finger-pointing and blame.

Fear not, all is not lost. There is still hope, and it is in the shape of our young people. As part of my day job I speak to young people about careers in healthcare. From speaking to these young people (not all of them wanted to work in healthcare) have a real sense of community and value, the welfare of all above anything else. They see themselves as part of a wider global community and concentrate on what unites them rather than what divides them.

Now I realise that we are all idealistic when we are teenagers, but this waivers when you get older and cynical. The question is why do we become cynical? We became cynical because no one took us seriously, we were not listened to and gave up. It is easier to look out for yourself.

So we have a responsibility to our youth to listen to what they are saying, to learn from their wisdom and help them make our world a better place to live in. Let them rekindle your passion for a better world. Most of all encourage them to have a social conscience, and to act on their beliefs. After all they are going to spend longer on this Earth than us.